Frictional Unemployment

I am currently unemployed. Havent been one since 4 1/2
years. Even though I had changed company before, I had my date with the
new company the very next working day. The only days when I had nothing
to do was after my college. But those days were of anxiety as things
werent going well in the software field. Many companies had refused to honour
their campus offers.

First day off my job felt like an odd man out. The whole world seemed
busy and indifferent, minding its usual bread earning chores.
Suddenly the hectic schedule is off and there is no post to run to.
First thing in the morning I was sidelined for breakfast. I was the first
one all these years. Response time for most of my demands has gone up and some have gotten postponed indefinitely. I was called upon to do the usual chores..buying groceries, paying bills, etc etc.

Suddenly my bank balance is running low and I realize had I become full time
unemployed, my resources would last only for weeks. I realize major chunk of my earnings is getting cobbled up by EMIs and my life style eats the rest. I suddenly realize everything had revolved around my ability to earn. My attitude, confidence, self esteem - all of it.

At the end of the week, I want to get back to work. In these few days I have discovered I
want to be busy. Look busy. Derive great pride in keeping myself busy.

Finally I have discovered there exists a blog of mine and I have to post regularly on it!