Back to Boise

Flight to boise is long. Really long. I mean really really long. Well I am not sure yet that the uninitiated have got the hang of longness I am talking about here! Let me try again.

You get to spend a good 22 hours of your life at a height of 38000ft floating in a sea of nothing and nothing but vast oblivion of blue emptiness. You might say what about your co-passengers? Well they should be the last thing that you notice in a plane.......if you are lucky that is.

I guess everybody takes a windows seat on their first flight. I did too. Through the window I saw the plane slowly taxing to a runway which was lit up like a boulevard ready to welcome a party. I saw its magnificient body take off with all its passengers, crew and cargo, bearing the responsibility of helping each one to reach their destination. I felt that the plane was slowly and painfully getting separated from earth with a promise to rejoin later at some other place.

Then I saw my city from far up above the sky, beautifully lit up and lost in deep sleep, oblivious of the whole world. After sometime, I had a sound sleep while looking deep into the pitch darkness through the window, imagining myself to be sleeping somewhere way high above an ocean.
I really liked it and felt the whole journey was over in a matter of minutes.I was lost in inexplicable melancholy all the time and the journey became timeless.

Its difficult to get lucky twice. On my second journey, my friends advised me to take the aisle seat trying to convince me by saying "man..it would be like going to the loo without anybody's permission!". They sold it to me as "freedom". Damn! I bought it. Going to the loo without disturbing anyone was a good bait, because last time I had felt very uncomfortable to wake up my co-passengers, even though I did that only twice in a 10hr long journey.

So, I was in the aisle seat this time. Still I kept peeping through the far off window to figure out where the plane was going, whether it was ready for take off and the like. Even after the take off I was still trying to peep outside the window to feel the darkness. Meanwhile there was an announcement from the plane's first officer.
"We have reached the cruising altitude. You may take off your seat belts. However it is advised to keep your belts on through the entire journey. Thank you!"

"Excoose me!"
"Ok, excused..but who is this?" - I said to myself getting out of the trance that I had gotten into.
It was my co-passenger sitting next to me.
OK. Here you go. I got up and he continued his journey to the loo. I sat down and tried to peep through the window again.

"Excoose me"
This time the sound came from the other side.
OK. He had finished his trip and was back. I again got up and gave way for him to proceed.

I was back at my job again trying to peep outside the window.
It was as black as a crow outside and with me being so far from the window, didnt feel the way I felt last time. So I gave up peeping and picked up a book.

"Excoose me".
This time it was a feminine voice. I had barely finished 10 lines and had to get up to give way. This time I thought I will wait for the juggernaut to come back and settle down.
It was full 5 minutes and nothing came back. The airhostess who was serving drinks asked in a polite voice :
"Could you please be seated Sir!"
OK. I sat down and started reading again.
Bearly had I read 10 lines pat came the voice.

"Excoose me"

So, I gave way.
After these two encounters, I thought I should check out who my co-passengers were. There were 3 seats next to the window and I was on the "lucky" aisle seat. The other two were occupied and completely filled to the brim by a Czech couple who were in their twilight years. Their potbelly stood testimony to years of unhindered pampering and it seemed that they had sincerely dis-obeyed all their doctor's advice, for I saw all signs of senile disorders that one can imagine.

OK. The coast was clear. So got back to my book again.

This time I had fallen asleep while reading the book, when I heard a familiar voice.
"Excoose me"
I was half asleep and wondered "Sounds a familiar voice..where did I hear that before?"
I raised my head to see the old man with an apologetic countenance.

I sighed and gave way. His mission was complete within 2 minutes.
OK. Back to sleep.

Barely was it 10 minutes, I heard a familiar voice.
"Excoose me".
I got frustrated a little but still excoosed her. After 5 minutes I had to excoose her again and get back to sleep.
The same cycle of excoosing happened one more time and I got a little restless but calmed myself hoping that all was over.

In the next 2 hours the couple had finished 5 trips to the lavatory.
It seemed each one took turns and at times they were competing against each other.

"You finished the fifth one? Wait..why should women always lag behind men? Here I go for the equaliser"

By the time the plane landed, I was devastated. I had counted 12 full trips and the 13th was on immediately after the plane landed. The loss of sleep was driving me mad and my thoughts began to stray to trivial and unimportant stuff.

"How in the name of christ can you do 13 trips to the loo in a span 10 hours? That means an average of 1.3 an hour, which means an staggering 31.2 a day. Man..you must have awesome capacity to accomplish such figures. Wait..is it the diabetes that is doing this to them? OK. Granted. Old people especially with diabetes tend to use the bathroom a little too often. What!? You call 31.2 times a day a "little too often". If this is not "very often", then camping permanently in the loo would be the only case to qualify.
OK. Still granted. This might be one of those "one in thousand" case. But why the hell should they take turns? Cant they plan and collaborate to get out at the same time? Couldnt they have excercised and prevented the diabetes to save me from this trouble? How irresponsible! Couldnt they have taken some medication to reduce the number of trips? Couldnt they..."

My delirium went on further and thought of what my mother used to say: "Those who spoil others sleep, shall take re-birth as donkey in their next incarnation" (I used to do that to my mother in my childhood)
There are awefully lot of donkeys in my locality in bangalore. So, I took solace in the fact that I was not the only one!